Cadman vs McKay
by Cookie Creed
Summary: On the 18th November, 2013, I finished my English exam ten minutes early. I was bored. Inextricably bored. Guess who else was? Why, no other than Cadman, who has nothing to do but annoy Rodney while being stuck inside his head!


_On the aformentioned date, I had to write an in-class seen essay where I analysed Mark Antony's funeral oration and Patrick Pearse's graveside eulogy and wrote five paragraphs (including introduction and conclusion) where I talked about the irony and rhetorical techniques used in both speeches. Needless to say it was a boring assessment and when I finished ten minutes before pens down, the plot piggies decided to speak to me. The irony is that an English assessment five/six months ago that began my whole 'Loving Todd' stories and it was actually when I'd first started on FanFiction! Enough of my banter, I shall share with you the knowledge that the plot piggies decided to impart on your partially unhinged writer._

_Inspired by Sorcha Annysia!_

**Cadman vs. McKay**

I shall start our tale with a quick overview. I am sitting two desks away from the left wall and all around me people are scratching frantically at their paper, seeming to form words but really its complete gibberish. On my desk I have all the necessary writing materials for a general English exam as well as my finished essay and two blank pieces of paper. I pick up my pen and begin to write.

Plot piggies!

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Cadman was bored. Inextricably bored. Who knew that being stuck inside Doctor Rodney McKay's head would be equal to hell? Uh, just about everybody! Why did these things always happen to her? Things like this always happened to newbies. She wanted nothing more than to be in her own body again. Not being able to do anything was insane! And there was the slightly embarrassing situation when McKay had to go to the bathroom. Gee that man had a small bladder. And creaky knees. And a bad back. And three chins. And his body was so weak, it was crazy!

If she had control of the body, she would be twiddling her thumbs right now instead of shovelling tons of cornflakes into her mouth. In fact, she would probably be in the gym at that moment working out like a good little Marine. But no. McKay had ordered her to keep quiet and, as much as it angered her, she kept silent.

But she was so _bored! _McKay was no fun at all! Why couldn't _he_ be stuck in _her_ head? Then she'd be tormenting him as much as possible, asking if he felt like a woman.

Wait... she could annoy him! And he couldn't even touch her... Cadman took a deep breath and began to sing.

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

More plot piggies!

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No one in the Atlantis Mess Hall looked twice when Rodney McKay lowered his spoon of cornflakes onto the table, while the bowl still had food in it. No one noticed that his face had gone tomato red.

But they did notice, and jump with alarm, as McKay screamed and threw the bowl against the nearest wall, breaking it into a million tiny pieces and spraying cornflakes and milk everywhere.

"SHUT UP!" he howled, smashing his forehead against the table repeatedly.

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_get on your nerves, get on your nerves!_

_I know a song that'll get on your nerves,_

_and this is how it goes!_

Cadman snickered before continuing to sing. The pain of having their head smashed against the table repeatedly was worth the agony she was putting McKay through. Maybe next time he decided to snap at her he would think twice.

McKay grabbed at his face in sheer agony, shrieking in pain. "Shut up! Just shut up Cadman!" he wailed. Oh, Zelenka better get that Dart fixed or he was going to go insane! If he was going to have Cadman stuck in his head for the rest of his life, that little Czech man was the first on his hit list!

Cadman continued to sing.

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_Had to end with a plot piggy!_


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